Lots to type about...

Ok, let me start by saying that my thoughts and prayers are going out to my digi-scrapping buddy, Kara, and her family tonight. Her brother was injured in Iraq and they are awaiting news about his condition. Another fellow digi-scrapper had a very traumatic thing happen today as well. JoAnn was walking with her 4 year old daughter and the little girl was hit by a car. She is home and doing fine (physically) but the whole family is struggling to deal with the emotional trauma of it all. Please keep them in your prayers as well. That being said, that news has kind of put my complaints about my day into perspective. Now don't get me wrong....I'm still going to complain about them. But please just know that I realize that my day wasn't really as bad as it seemed before I heard about the difficult times Kara and JoAnn's families are going through.

On a happier note, my layouts are completed and turned in for the Digital Scrapbook Artisan Guild's Creative Team Call! There is a lot of great competition, so there is nothing left to do but wait with fingers crossed until they announce the new team. Either way I have learned a lot during the process, made some new friends, became closer friends with some that I already knew, plus I got some free stuff out of it! :) Anyone who knows me knows how much I love getting free stuff!! :) Also, Lily has really been funny this week. It's almost like she is literally growing up (physically and mentally) right before our eyes this week. She is just saying the funniest things and acting so much older. Help! My child is growing up too fast!!! Not really...I am loving every minute of this stage that she is in right now. Her new thing at dinner is to hold out her hands for us to take so we can pray, look at us and say, "Now, peat after me." She wants to be the leader!! Then, after we pray, she says, "Now, let's talk. How was your day, Mom? Ask me how my day was. How was your day, Dad? Tell me how my day was now, Dad." It is like she is this little adult trapped in a 2 1/2 year old body!

Now...sorry to break the happy mood....but I promised you some complaining and I certainly wouldn't want to let you down! Haha!

Ok. So first of all, my students are absolutely driving me insane this week. I don't know what the deal is. I love them all dearly - but I am telling you that today I seriously asked myself the question no teacher ever wants to admit to asking; "Can I seriously do this for my whole life?" I am honestly afraid to admit that I think the answer is no. Today I felt like no matter WHAT I did, it made no difference. My students were not interested in learning and my usual tricks to get them interested did not even so much as cause them to glance in my direction. I feel like so many of them have realized how far behind they really are....and they are starting to believe that it won't ever get any better. For example, one of my fifth grade boys who can barely read at a second grade level shook his head, threw his pencil down, hit himself in the head and said, "I just wish I could throw this brain out and get a new one. I hate my brain." He is one of my students who is almost always clowning, and I thought he was just trying to get a rise out of me...but when I looked into his eyes I realized that he truly meant it. I watched him go through the experience of coming to terms with the fact that he is so far behind his friends. And it wasn't a pretty sight. I don't know what to do sometimes. I think when I was younger, I had this vision of myself playing a Michelle Pheiffer (sp?) in Dangerous Minds type of teacher. The thing is - I'm not in a movie. I'm watching these kids slip through the cracks and no one seems to mind because they have an IEP and their tests scores "don't really count anyway." I have seen some gains this year with the boy I was talking about earlier. He has gone from never wanting to read in front of people and barely being able to read a sight word book to reading aloud with a small group even if he is the oldest one and has the most trouble. He still gets mad when a younger student tries to help him with a word...but not nearly as bad as before. What it boils down to is that I only have a few months left to work with this boy until he moves on to middle school. I know that he can make progress before then - but I'm not sure he believes that it is possible...and I'm starting to wonder if he has started to think it doesn't matter. I have to be strong for the both of us. I have to calm his anger toward the entire world somehow. I have to get him to stop chewing his fingers...lol. Sorry, if you knew the boy, you'd laugh too. He chews and chews and chews his fingers until I'm sure he will eat them up. He desperately needs to be evaluated for OCD and his mother says she wants to take him somewhere for testing. Whether or not she will actually do it is another question. Ok, moving on...I'm sure you'll read more about my little friend the finger chewer at a later date.

The other issue of the day is the fact that our freaking car broke down a little over a week ago and it still isn't fixed. We finally found a used engine and can buy it and have it put in for about $800. The trouble is that is about $600 more than we can afford right now. It just seems like whenever you take the chance to stop and breathe and think everything is almost okay...it all falls down around you. Now don't get me wrong...we still have the truck and it is working out okay to only have one vehicle. The only trouble is - we can't all go somewhere together in the truck. So anyway....we had talked about how we would just get our taxes done this week and then be able to use the money from our return for the engine or part of it at least. But, according to Shannon, I didn't have enough withheld from my paychecks this past year so now we're going to end up owing. UGH. I don't even know what to say about this. Hopefully there is something...anything...that we are missing somewhere and we can salvage this and get SOMETHING back. Or at least not end up paying much.

When it is all said and done, my life is pretty good. We are in a little bit of a tight situation monetarily at the moment, but at least we have a lot more than many others in this world. I will end with a few shallow, but very heartfelt comments about some of my favorite TV shows...

1. American Idol is back again! LaKisha rocks my world. That woman can sing. Also, Fantasia's song tonight literally had me bawling and running to go download it for my MP3 player.
2. All My Children is knocking my socks off at the moment. I KNEW it had to do with Zach's dad. Ha! Well, not all along...but recently I thought that was maybe the case...
3. The O.C. is over. I can't even talk about it right now. I have yet to watch the last episode. I'm just not prepared for the emotional breakdown that be involved with this. I'm kidding, of course...at least mostly kidding! LOL!

I'm off to go snuggle away my worries after I say another prayer for my friends. Please do the same!